"The close relationships that we have, foster a sense of security and safety. Those are the people we trust and rely on. It didn’t happen instantly. Trust is not automatic. It is gained slowly over time."  Kathy Spampinato

When you meet someone new are you open hearted and welcoming, or guarded and watchful? Life often teaches us that we need to protect ourselves. The pain of relationships in the past makes us cautious and suspicious today. We become reluctant and unsure of others. Can they be trusted or not? These thoughts are very understandable when we’ve been hurt, and yet hope continues to encourage us to try again. After we’ve been rejected by a loved one or friend, the pain can be crippling and fill us with resentment, but our heart still hopes for someone new, who will bring love and comfort to us.

Our own life makes us reluctant to be open and approachable because people often disappoint. The close relationships that we have, foster a sense of security and safety. Those are the people we trust and rely on. It didn’t happen instantly. Trust is not automatic. It is gained slowly over time, as the other person shows themselves faithfully at our side. They have lived life with us and proven that they are a true friend. They have listened to us, empathized, and offered help and support in difficult moments. They’ve also been there in times of celebration and relaxation: ready to rejoice when we’re rejoicing. Trust has been established and is reliable.

 Today I am thinking of these things and realizing that we often apply these same emotional reactions to our relationship with God. The more we’ve been hurt in life, the more reluctant we are to trust God. We’ve assigned God blame or guilt for our situation. We often decide that God is not trustworthy when life brings disappointment and discouragement. People have hurt us, and we’ve decided that God carries the guilt for allowing the problem in the first place. We’ve become guarded in our relationship with God. We’ve unknowingly decided that He is not trustworthy or faithful to us, and does not care. Emotional pain builds a wall of self-protection between us and God, as well as with other people. It might not be rational, as we truly know that God is love, but our pain is lying to us. Our bitterness puts distance between us because our trust is broken.

 As I have shared before, challenges in my childhood have made me vulnerable to a fear of rejection. It is not rational, considering all the love and friendship I have in life, but it still makes me guarded and cautious when meeting new people. I would much rather stay close to those I already know, than walk into a room full of strangers and start a conversation. Yet, I want to remain open and available to people. God designed us with a need for companionship and relationship with others. We are enriched by our interactions with other people. I might meet a true friend tomorrow, that will bless my life for decades. I need to be available and open.

When I understand my own heart, I can better understand how I respond to new things, and how I respond to God. I have slowly learned that God is a faithful friend. He has proven that He cares and protects me. He listens to me when I am hurt and offers comfort and healing as I recover. He really is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. His faithfulness has built trust in my heart and it is something solid and dependable. I would like to challenge you today, to open your heart and allow God to show Himself as faithful and loving towards you. Here are a few scriptures to inspire friendship and trust in God.

Proverbs 3:5 ESV “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Lamentations 3:22-23 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

John 16: 33 In the words of Jesus, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

 Whatever the need in your heart today, God is there to lead you and help you. You can trust Him and His faithfulness. Invite Him to bring healing to your heart and your emotions and start your own journey to trust. It is a safe place because “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Psalm 46:1