"God is watching our response to others needing forgiveness. If we harden our hearts towards those who treat us unfairly or owe us a debt, our hearts are affected." Kathy Spampinato

The topic of forgiveness is a straight-forward one, but not easily implemented.

We can agree with the concept of forgiveness until we look at it with regard to someone who has hurt us. How do you forgive someone who has destroyed your trust and caused you to experience pain beyond what you thought possible? Should you just simply forgive them? That doesn’t seem right or fair. It feels like forgiving them is somehow saying that what they did was OK! You don’t want to trivialize your own pain. Are you letting them off the hook as if what they did was no big deal? Our sense of justice demands that they pay for what they did. God can’t want them just excused and free to do it again to someone else, can he?

In Matthew 18:21-22 Jesus was asked a question along this line of thought.

“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Some versions say 70 x 7 which equals 490 times.

I am sure that Peter thought he was being generous to suggest forgiving seven times. Jesus’ reply does not indicate a specific number, as if we keep a running tally of people’s offenses towards us. It suggests we always remain open to forgive others without regard to how often we’ve done so in the past.

God is watching our response to others needing forgiveness. If we harden our hearts towards those who treat us unfairly or owe us a debt, our hearts are affected. If we recognize we are just as prone to error as the person who injured us, we humbly admit we are not better than they are. Our need for forgiveness and grace compels us to extend it to others.

Romans 12:19-21 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; "

God promises that people will not get away unpunished if we forgive. He will repay and take care of the situation. We need to let it go.

God’s attention is on your attitude and condition. He does not want unforgiveness to lead to bitterness, hatred, rebellion, and a hardening of your spirit. If you harbor unforgiveness you are leaving room in your heart and mind for all those negative thoughts and feelings. It will cause a distance between you and God. You will find it harder to hear God’s voice in other areas. It will be more difficult to experience the presence of God, and it leaves a festering wound. Unforgiveness takes a toll on your spirit, soul, and body. There are mental, emotional, and physical illnesses that are aggravated by stress and bitterness. The damage to you is not worth the idea that you deserve the right to your resentment. When you relinquish your right to take revenge, you are showing faith in God’s justice.

So, after deciding that you should forgive, how do you do it? You can force yourself to say the words but does that mean you’ve forgiven “from your heart”? God will take you through a process of forgiveness if you seek it. He will show you His love and allow you to gradually heal and refocus your thoughts towards Him. When you forgive you are taking the power away from the one who hurt you, and from the enemy, the devil. You now have the power to allow healing to enter your soul. You are bringing freedom to your soul.

When you acknowledge that your unforgiveness is a sin that will continue to eat away at you, you can then choose God’s way. If you are feeling guilty and convicted of your own bitterness, this Psalm can lead you to repentance.

Psalm 32:1-5,7 “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”

Is Holy Spirit revealing unforgiveness or resentment hiding in your heart? Is there someone you need to forgive and release? Doing so will free your heart and mind to receive greater grace and healing from God. You can talk to Him about it. Consider the prayer below.

Father God, thank You for revealing that I still hold unforgiveness against someone. I now realize that forgiving them does not mean I am letting them off the hook. What they did was not OK. I recognize that I can leave their punishment and future up to You. Thank You Lord, for leading me to release them- and myself. I choose to forgive them. I do not wish them harm. Thank You for offering me the love and care I need to heal. Please touch my mind and my emotions so I am able to release resentment and receive love and grace to fill my heart. Amen.