"You may have developed defenses to protect you from the depths of regret and loneliness, but they also keep you from joy and fulfillment." Kathy Spampinato

In the tumultuous world we live in, we can easily get hurt: by circumstances, accidents, problems, and people. This leads us to want to protect our hearts. We want to live in a way that does not leave us open to pain again. No one reaches adulthood without experiencing a few bruises, but often childhood forms our life patterns. That is how we develop defense mechanisms. They are choices we make, to never again be put in a situation where we need to defend ourselves, whether from criticism, rejection, bullying, fear, abandonment, insecurity, or other difficulties that make us feel vulnerable. We fiercely defend ourselves, although we do it in a variety of distinctly individual ways.

Some of life's experiences have taught you to be wise, and self-protect in practical ways. Others however, may have steered you to develop patterns that keep you limited. You may have developed defenses to protect you from the depths of regret and loneliness, but they also keep you from joy and fulfillment. The defense mechanism might do just what it was designed for, but also leave you holding yourself back, keeping you from trusting others, and not open to new relationships and new people. You might be limiting the depth of your trust or your willingness to really listen. Those defenses could be limiting your life's experiences. I have a question for you.

Are your self-defenses helping you be open to growth and maturity or are they limiting your reactions and hardening your heart towards others?

I entitled this article "Guard Your Heart" because it is something we all do, whether it is a conscious decision or an automatic response trained by your life story.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

It advises us to watch what our heart is showing us and be careful what we expose it to, for it will influence all aspects of our life. Still, there comes a time when we need to look at our reactions to challenges and ask ourselves. "Does this behavior benefit me, or do I end up repeating it automatically, out of habit? Does it serve me, or do I serve it?" The Bible can give us some fresh perspective as we contemplate this idea. Let's take a look at the following passage from Philippians, one step at a time.

Philippians 4:6 ESV "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be make known to God."

The first step, it advises, is to rejoice in the Lord. That implies a level of trust with God that causes joy and hope to spring up. He is at hand- He is with us. We need not be anxious about anything. That is right: no fear at all. We can trust God to take care of us and heal us of the scars of the past. Those scars have been causing our defensive shields to be up. You can make your requests known to God in prayer, and a trusting heart will lead you to be thankful that He hears you, and is moved to action. His loving character causes you to rest in Him.

Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Regardless of the situation, a true understanding and acceptance of God's love for you will cause you to lower your defenses, and enable you to trust the Lord. You can give Him access to your heart. He is faithful and gentle and you are safe in His arms. He promises to guard not only your heart, but your mind. Sometimes when our heart has been wounded, our mind will not let go. It recites and rehearses the problem over and over. We rework the steps in our mind hoping we will be able to draw a new and better conclusion, but to no avail. Putting our emotions and challenges into Holy Spirit's hands allows healing to sooth us. We will begin to trust God to be the answer. The last step is to focus our thoughts on the noble and fruitful things that are happening, and on the joy that our trust in God brings.

Philippians 4:8-9 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me- practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."